Desiring Justification

Do you ever desire vengeance on someone who hurt you?

Do you ever think, “If only they knew how much pain they caused me?”

I have.

I think it comes from our deep desire to be understood and justified. But the more we point fingers to make ourselves feel better, the harder it becomes to acknowledge that we are broken too.

Every one of us has hurt someone. We're all people searching for love, often unaware of where to find it.

Jesus calls us to humility—to forgive as we've been forgiven, to stop boasting, and to see others with compassion.

Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending the hurt didn't happen. It means refusing to believe that someone's worst actions make them less worthy of the grace we ourselves have received.

Sometimes we want the person who hurt us to suffer like we did. We want an apology, an explanation, or some evidence that they understand what they've done. But what if forgiveness means releasing our need for them to make things right before we can let go?

I had a dream about a friend who and I have caused a lot of pain to each other over the years. In the dream, I was able to forgive her without needing anything in return. I woke up realizing how often I've wanted forgiveness to be earned rather than freely given.

Grace is easy to receive when we believe we deserve it. But the moment we recognize that we don't deserve it, we begin to understand its beauty.

And that's where I think we can miss God's goodness.

We aren't called to compare our sins against someone else's. We're called to remember that we are forgiven people.

So my prayer is:

Lord, forgive me for the ways I've hurt others. Strip away my pride and help me take responsibility for my own brokenness. Help me forgive those You've forgiven without comparing their sins to mine. Give me Your eyes of compassion. Thank You for forgiving me when I didn't deserve it. Help me never take Your grace for granted. Teach me to live from a place of gratitude rather than shame, and let Your love for me overflow into the way I love others. In Jesus' name, amen.